HOT BOY BARBEQUE

Chorus:
And I'm hungry,
So very hungry.
I really don't know what to do
Cause you're the meat I want to chew.

I'm Otis Toole the cannibal,
You may have heard my name,
But I did all the cooking
While Henry got the fame.
They put him in a movie
And slapped my ass in jail,
So I sell my ass in the showerblock,
And someday I'll make bail.

Chorus:
And I'm hungry,
So hungry,
I'd really like to make a date
To have you on my dinner plate.

We had our day down Texas way
Where the chilli’s mighty hot,
And first you're for the chopping block
And then you're for the pot.
There's nothing like that boy child taste,
It really hits the spot.
The only sweeter meat I know
Grows in a babys cot.

Chorus:
Now I'm hungry,
Very hungry,
To hit the street and meet the meat
That talks and walks apon two feet.

I really miss my lover Lee,
He had a way with knives,
He'd take the girls virginity
Before he took their lives.
And fill my heart with jealosy
For boys and girls and goats that he
Would take in carnal ecstacy,
Then cook with cream and chives.

Chorus:
Now I'm hungry,
Really hungry,
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
For one more Hot Boy Barbeque.

AN EXPLANATION
Quite a few years ago I was in an art exhibition, and my name on the program was only two lines away from that of Otis Toole.

Otis Toole was a mass murderer in Texas who used to roam the countryside with Henry Lee Lucas, killing young kids and eating them. He was an unabashed cannibal, actually prefering the taste of human meat to anything else.

He was in that program because a couple of his drawings (a severed head and some severed hands in biro on paper) were being hung. The curator of the gallery had read about Otis in a magazine, and the story included a mail address at his jail. The curator wrote to him and recieved these drawings in reply, along with a demand that all proceeds from their sale be sent back promptly, because he was tired of bending over in the showers for $5 a shot.

Well, the drawings were the only things that sold in the exhibition, for 400 dollars apiece, and the money never left the curators hand. I guess Otis will be waiting for him down the road.

MUSHROOM WHISKEY

Chorus:
Brewin' mushroom whiskey
Full of goldtops and blue meanies
And I strain it through my beanie
So the flavours good and strong.
Well its mighty good for sippin'
And a week or so of trippen',
Flippen', gibberin', snort-rippen'
And it helped me write this song.

Up beyond the sunshine coast
There grows a fungus I love most
The psycho-active holy host
To members of the faith.
For getting up or getting down
No better substance has been found
So fill the jug and pass it round
And lets hallucinate!

(Chorus)

With cylosybin, PCP,
MDMA and LSD
And just a hint of THC
To make you feel O.K.
Some ketamine and mescaline
To drive you crazy round the bend,
Doctor Loveduds Special blend
Is here to save the day!

(Chorus)

I wrote these song lyrics to be performed by a band that never went anywhere. I can't imagine what ever persuaded me to believe that this particular band would ever actually get above the stage of doing gigs on lonely singles harbour cruises... blind optimism? I'm better now though.