Valarian Tea
Valarian Tea began it's life as a bunch of poetry and experimental prose I wrote between 1988 and 91. I was just starting to recover from the psychological damage I took from school, while redoing my HSC at a TAFE college, and was making a few friends. My dark and moody outlook on life was far worse then than it is now, and my idea of a good night out was to go and see a movie like Eraserhead at the Valhalla cinema, and then walk to the Evil Star hotel for a night of booze, drugs and mahem. I worked out a lot of agression thrashing around with the other nightcrawlers to horrible music, and I met some interesting girls. Various scenes, bits and pieces of action, and aspects of myself and my friends, were incorporated into this work, which I compiled in a very cool journal of recycled paper with a black and white marbled cover.

This piece used to be embarressing to me, I thought it was much worse than Down, but over time it has grown on me. The poetry, after all these years, although angsty seems pretty good. Still, I am glad the scans are invisible to search engines.

Also, I really did feel this way. These are actual emotions, gauche and embarrasing, crude and naked. In some ways this stuff is far more honest and true than anything I wrote since. It's such a pity that I can't signal my ancestral self back through time. I'd tell him, don't worry. The pain doesn't pass, but you get better at maintaining your facade while you deal with it.